These Are The Type of People…

…who would stop in front of me, position the stroller so that the little boy sees someone playing the guitar and the harmonica, while trying to draw the baby’s wandering eyes in the right direction. And then he might drop a few dollars in the basket. darn! I wish I was there now, so I can take advantage of that!

I woke up around six in the evening. Feeling depressed in a way that made me think back to the things I wish I hadn’t done.

But, then I thought about the fact that it was none other than the other people involved in those situations, the ones I can imagine remembering the same event and thinking, “What an idiot,” that was bothering me.

Then I realized that these people, if they were still alive, most likely saw the event from a completely different angle, perhaps the opposite …

I thought of an interview with Eddie Van Halen I had seen on Youtube and the amount of work and dedication one would have to put in to get to his level on the instrument, spending every day, every day approaching music from every angle – he said he didn’t listen to any music other because he did not have time; He was too busy practicing to sit and listen to an album.

Somehow I felt depressed. I guess it has to do with the feeling I had behind Eddie so far behind that I’d have to go back to 7 and spend my entire summer vacation pulling away on the guitar when I woke up at 7 a.m., until my mom told me to shut it down because my dad and I were about to go to bed Because it was after ten in the evening and my dad had to get up for work.

Then, if I was Eddie, I’d drift off to sleep imagining different ways to hook my guitar, or whatever, and I’d really be messing with this when my mom interrupted me to say breakfast was ready.

I guess I realized that Eddie had already done “all of that”, and what point would it make sense to me in my practice that morning…

It took about 25 minutes to change the feeling, drowning in a sense of gratitude and joy. I think the three things I’ve come up with before getting out of bed are that I have alkaline water and a lot of juice and I’ll start juice quickly. I was a glutton the day before; Unable to resist the sugary pills that are everywhere around the Sacred Heart. Someone had put a bag of food outside my door, and I should have just taken out a can of green beans, and then slipped it in front of someone else’s door…

But, I finished adding peanut butter to the cereal, then stirred the coconut milk in it, sprinkled a little cocoa powder on top with some honey and then repeated the processes until the empty cereal box was in the trash…

If it’s not crack or alcohol, it’s pills… Fighting addiction seems to be one of the main story lines in my life.

But I was grateful for the water and juice, first, and the second thing was that I got a text from my childhood friend David Futur, who said he was moving from Massachusetts, where we grew up together, to Florida; next week.

He mentioned that it was close enough for my visit during Jazzfest. Number 2.

The third thing, I don’t remember, but as soon as I put myself in a happy and grateful state, I checked my phone to see that Lidgley’s had emailed me, indicating that a Christmas package was already on the way. Then I went to my mailbox to find that my Venmo debit card was inside.

I activated the card, and now I’m back to go to Winn Dixie where we can get Harold some food he loves, maybe buy toilet paper, but maybe just stuff my pocket full of the free kind in the bathroom…

Well it’s about 9pm and the temperature outside was 46 degrees, only 3 degrees above the work limit I set for myself.

The clutter continues. I’ve been reviewing all my recordings for myself and cutting them down to the best parts, and I’ve been working with knobs, levels, and editing software to make music out of stuff that’s already been recorded, probably 11 years ago…

This is what I always thought I would do if I had an accident and lost my arm. I would like to learn how to play my laptop with a pencil in my mouth and I will continue to create “techno” music using the raw components of tracks that can be accelerated, slowed down, layered over each other, etc. . I should get the pencil out of my mouth, but this would be my style of composing music if I lost my arm. I’d be happy and grateful for that, I guess.

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